You have read more about this than I have and done none of it
- Looking for
- a beginner who is willing to be a beginner
- Experience
- Nineteen years, four dynamics, two of them with people entirely new.
- Around
- the commuter belt, London
A particular sort of person writes to me now and I have grown quite fond of them, in a wearying way. They have read everything. They arrive with a vocabulary I do not use, a list of interests in a considered order, and a set of firm opinions about how a dynamic ought to be structured, all of it assembled from the internet and none of it tested on a living person. Then we meet and none of the vocabulary helps.
Fifty five, the commuter belt, dominant, nineteen years in, four arrangements and two of those with people who started from nothing.
I am genuinely happy to take somebody new. It is often better. But the reading has to be held loosely, because the thing itself is made of specifics: this person, this week, this mood, this limit that turns out to matter more than it looked on paper.
What I run is a weekly arrangement with clear expectations, tasks between times, and a great deal of talking, particularly at the start.
Not looking for anybody who wants to correct my terminology. Not looking for someone whose plan for their first six months is already written. And not looking for a person who has decided in advance what their limits are on the basis of things they have only ever read about, because half of those will move and half will harden and neither of us can guess which.