Forty minutes each way means a weeknight is ninety minutes of actual time
- Looking for
- a dominant who does the arithmetic before proposing a Tuesday
- Experience
- Three years, one dynamic of a year, ended without any drama.
- Around
- the west, London
Here is a sum nobody does before agreeing to a weeknight. Forty minutes to you, forty minutes back, and I have to be at a desk at eight in the morning. That leaves about ninety minutes in the middle, of which the first fifteen are me arriving flustered. I have done that evening perhaps thirty times and I have finally accepted that it is not enough time for anything I actually want.
Twenty nine, the west, submissive, three years in, one arrangement that ran a year and ended amicably.
So I have changed what I ask for. Weeknights are for contact, tasks and reporting, which cost no travel at all. The time in a room together goes at the weekend, in longer stretches, less often. It sounds less romantic than seeing somebody constantly and it is enormously more workable.
What I want is a dominant who is interested in a structure that runs continuously rather than one that only exists when we are together. Expectations set in advance. Being checked on. Being told when something was not good enough.
Not looking for anybody whose availability is one weekday evening at short notice. Not looking for a person who thinks planning ahead removes the spontaneity, because in this city spontaneity means nothing happens. And not looking to spend my life on a platform.