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The board · Glasgow · Curious

I have turned three people down and felt appalling every time

Posted as said_no_to_three, 6 September 2026

Looking for
somebody who will make it easy to say a plain no
Experience
None. Four months and three conversations I ended badly.
Around
the south side, Glasgow

Three times now I have decided against somebody and three times I have made a mess of saying so. Once I went quiet, which I know from this board is the worst option. Once I wrote four paragraphs of apology that made everything worse. Once I agreed to a coffee I did not want and then cancelled it the night before.

I am putting that in a post because it is the thing I am worst at and because I would rather the person reading this knew in advance. I am learning. The fourth one will be one line and no explanation, which is apparently the correct answer and which I find genuinely difficult.

Twenty nine, the south side, no experience of anything else here either.

What I want is conversation with somebody experienced who is direct enough that saying no to them would not feel like a catastrophe. Half of my difficulty is that people have been so careful with me that turning them down feels like an insult to the care.

Not looking to meet soon. Not looking for anybody who needs a reason. Not looking to be handled gently, which turns out to be the thing that makes this hardest.

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What to have sorted before you reply

If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

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