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The board · Glasgow · Curious

Every conversation stalls at the point where I am asked to be sure

Posted as certain_and_i_am_not, 6 September 2026

Looking for
somebody who does not need me to be certain by next month
Experience
None. Five months, several conversations, all stalled at the same place.
Around
the city centre, Glasgow

Every conversation I have had on here goes the same way. Warm, direct, genuinely enjoyable, and then somewhere around the second week I am asked to say clearly which of the words I am, and I cannot, and the temperature drops within two messages.

I understand the frustration. Nobody wants to invest a month in a person who might conclude the whole thing is not for them. But the honest word for what I am is the one on my profile, and being pushed to upgrade it does not make me more certain, it just makes me quieter.

Twenty seven, the city centre, no experience at all, five months on this app. What I want is conversation with people considerably further along than I am. How you knew. What you got wrong early. What you would tell somebody at the start if you could be bothered. I know that is asking for time I am not entitled to.

Not looking to meet anybody soon. Not looking for anybody who treats uncertainty as a stage to be moved through quickly. Not looking to be told that everyone feels like this at the beginning, because two people have said that and both then asked me to be certain by the following week.

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If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

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