I set the distance filter to its minimum and it returned everybody
- Looking for
- somebody who will say what they actually want, since geography cannot be blamed
- Experience
- Five years, two dynamics, the longer one two years.
- Around
- the west, Amsterdam
I dragged the distance filter down as far as it would go, expecting the queue to thin out, and it returned more or less the same people it had returned at four times the setting. That is the whole city. Everybody on this board is twenty minutes from everybody else on a bicycle, and once you have seen that, an enormous number of excuses stop working.
It changed how I read every profile. In a bigger city you can spend a year blaming the map, and people do, and it is often even true. Here there is nothing between you and the actual question, which is whether the other person wants the thing you want, badly enough to arrange it.
Thirty three, the west, submissive, five years in. Two dynamics, the longer of them two years, ended when she went home at the end of a contract.
So I would rather you were blunt than kind. If what I have written is not what you are looking for, that is a sentence, not a conversation. What I want is an ongoing arrangement with standing expectations, a fixed evening, reporting that happens whether or not anybody is in the mood. It has taken me five years to work out that this is the only thing I actually need to know about a person, and the app will never once ask it.
Not looking for somebody who describes fifteen minutes as far. Not looking for a chat that runs for months in a city this small. And not looking to be told to be patient, when patience here means waiting for a person who has already decided.