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The board · Amsterdam · Curious

Nine years with the same person, and she is the reason I am on here

Posted as nine_years_only_now, 9 September 2026

Looking for
people who have been where I am, to talk to and nothing more
Experience
None of my own. Nine years of loving somebody who has plenty.
Around
the east, Amsterdam

My partner has done this since long before we met and told me in our second month. Nine years later nothing has been hidden and nothing has been sprung on me, and I have moved from politely tolerant to actually curious. I am here with her knowledge, and the first line of my profile says so.

The distinction that matters more than anything else I could write is whether the curiosity is mine or borrowed. I do not want to arrive at this because somebody I love wants me to. She has been careful to the point of frustrating about not pushing, which leaves me needing to ask people who are not her.

Thirty eight, the east, no experience of my own, and nine years of watching somebody I love do this carefully and well.

What I want is conversation. People who came to this later. People who tried it and decided against it, honestly, since I have read a hundred accounts of falling in love with it and almost none of the other kind. And people who can tell me what it looks like inside a long relationship rather than as a thing you go and do.

Not looking to meet anybody for anything. Not looking for advice about my relationship, which is good. Not looking for a person who wants to be the one who shows me.

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