I made myself invisible for a month and learned more than in the previous year
- Looking for
- somebody who found this post rather than being shown my profile
- Experience
- Fourteen years, three dynamics, two of them still friendships.
- Around
- Noord, Amsterdam
There is a setting that hides you from the queue while letting you keep browsing. I turned it on in February and left it on for a month, partly out of curiosity and partly because I was tired. What I learned is that most of what I had been calling interest was simply proximity plus a photograph, and when the photograph stopped circulating, the interest went with it.
That sounds bitter written down and it is not meant to be. It was clarifying. The people who found me during that month found me by reading something I had written on a board like this one, and every one of those conversations was better than the queue had produced in a year.
Forty nine, Noord, dominant, fourteen years in. So I am here rather than there. If you have read this far, you chose to, and that is already a better filter than any of the app's.
What I run is steady rather than intense. Standing expectations that do not change with my mood, attention that lasts past the novelty, an arrangement I intend to still be running in two years because both of my long ones were.
Not looking for anybody who wants a title in week one. Not looking to perform any of this in writing. Not looking for a person who is here to be impressed.