Three hundred and forty matches, and I have had four real conversations
- Looking for
- four messages in a row from the same person, which is apparently a lot to ask
- Experience
- Two years, no dynamic yet, two people I still speak to.
- Around
- the west, Sydney
Three hundred and forty matches since I joined. Four of them turned into something I would honestly call a conversation, which is to say more than four messages, going both ways, over more than a day. Two of those people I still talk to. The other three hundred and thirty six are a grey column of names I will never open again.
Twenty six, out west, submissive, two years on the app and nothing to show for it beyond a very clear sense of the arithmetic. What I have worked out is that matching is free and so it means nothing. Everybody is holding forty conversations that have not started, including me for most of last year, and none of us is being cruel. We are just each other's background noise.
I have changed one thing. I now write first, immediately, with something specific in it, and I do not match with anybody I do not intend to write to that day. My numbers got worse and my life got better.
What I am after is a dominant who wants an ongoing arrangement rather than an evening. I am organised, I am good at being held to things, and I do not need to be chased.
Not looking to be one of forty. Not looking for somebody who reappears after three weeks with a friendly nothing. And not looking for anyone who thinks a match is an achievement, because I have three hundred and forty of them and they are worth nothing at all.