There are two versions of this app and I have seen both of them
- Looking for
- one honest conversation rather than two half performances
- Experience
- Five years, three short dynamics, all of them one directional.
- Around
- the eastern suburbs, Sydney
Depending on which word sits above my photograph, I am either drowning or invisible. That is not a complaint about either group. It is a strange thing to have observed from the inside, and almost nobody gets to observe it, because most people only ever see the version of this app that corresponds to them.
One version is forty messages a week, most of them thoughtless, and a real cost in energy just to keep the surface clear. The other is silence for a fortnight and then somebody excellent. Both are exhausting for opposite reasons, and I have listened to people from each side accuse the other of not trying.
Thirty one, eastern suburbs, switch, five years in. Three dynamics, all of them ending up one directional in practice because it was easier for the other person.
What I want now is a single ongoing arrangement with somebody who genuinely wants the reciprocity rather than accommodating it. I would rather have a long conversation with one person than a full inbox. I am organised, I write properly, and I am not interested in a chat that lives on this app for six months.
Not looking to be somebody's experiment in the other direction. Not looking for a person who describes themselves as flexible and means available. And not looking for anybody who wants me to pick a side and stay on it, because I have tried that twice and both times it made me worse company.