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The board · New York · Curious

Fifty eight, out of a long marriage, and starting from nothing

Posted as after_twentynine_years, 9 September 2026

Looking for
patience and somebody who will explain things without a sigh
Experience
None here. Twenty nine years of a marriage that ended last year.
Around
the Jersey side, New York

Twenty nine years, ended last spring, for reasons that had nothing to do with any of this. He was a decent man and I never told him, and I am aware that the not telling was mine to own rather than his to guess.

Fifty eight, the Jersey side, and I have spent a year working out what I want in a life that suddenly has room in it. Some of the answer is a job I like and a smaller apartment. Some of the answer is this, which I have known about myself since I was in my twenties and have never once acted on.

So my experience is easy to summarise: none. I have never knelt for anybody. I have never negotiated anything. I know the words from books and I know that knowing the words is not the same as knowing anything at all.

What I am asking for is patience and a fair amount of explaining. I would like to talk to people first, at length, before anything else is on the table. I would like to be told what I am agreeing to in plain sentences.

I am not fragile. I raised three children and ran a business through a recession. Not looking for anyone who finds my age novel and mentions it. Not looking for a person in a hurry. Not looking to send photographs before a conversation, which has now been asked of me eleven times and is the main reason my profile has no face on it.

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