I switched off the thing that shows when I am online and everything improved
- Looking for
- somebody who is not keeping score of my response times
- Experience
- Nine years, two dynamics, one ongoing friendship from the first.
- Around
- Brickell, Miami
Somewhere in the settings there is a switch that stops other people seeing when you were last on. I turned it off eight months ago and the difference has been remarkable. No more messages asking why I was online for ten minutes and did not reply. No more people calculating how long I took. It turns out that the feature was not telling anyone anything useful, it was just handing out material for anxiety.
Forty two, dominant, I work in insurance, Brickell, nine years in this and two dynamics behind me, one of which turned into a friendship I still value.
I say all this because I answer at particular times and I want that understood as a habit rather than a signal. Twice a day, more when something is being arranged. If you need a fast reply to feel wanted then I am the wrong person, and I would rather you knew in the first week than the sixth.
What I am after is a long structured arrangement with somebody who has their own life running properly. Standing expectations, a regular evening, and a fair amount of independence in between. Not looking for anybody who wants to be managed hour by hour, not looking for a project, and not looking for anybody who thinks this city means everything has to be quick.