My last profile was written at somebody else's direction and I did not notice
- Looking for
- somebody who will let me arrive as whatever I actually am
- Experience
- Ten years, two dynamics, one of them longer than it should have been.
- Around
- the east side, Los Angeles
The profile I used for three years was not mine. He wrote most of it, at the beginning, when I was new and pleased to be paid attention to, and it stayed up long after he had gone. I read it properly in January for the first time in ages and it described a person I do not think I have ever been: softer, more available, and considerably less interested in leading than I turned out to be.
Forty five, the east side, switch, ten years in, two arrangements with one of them running four years past its natural end.
Rewriting it took an afternoon and felt disproportionately awful. Then it felt fine. The odd thing is that the queue changed completely within a fortnight, which tells you either something about the machinery or something about what I had been advertising.
What I want now is either direction, honestly, and structure in both. When I lead I am organised and quite formal. When I do not, I want somebody with a plan and the patience to hold me to it.
Not looking for anybody who wants to shape what I am into something more convenient, and I am aware I will be slow to spot it if you try. Not looking for someone who needs me to be new at this. And not looking to explain the last one at length, because I have done that and it did not help.