I answer in the order things arrived, which makes me look uninterested
- Looking for
- somebody patient enough to still be there when I reach them
- Experience
- Five years, one dynamic of three years, ended when we moved apart.
- Around
- the Valley, Los Angeles
I work through messages oldest first, like a queue, because the alternative is answering whoever is most recent and letting everybody else rot. It is fair and it is also completely invisible, so from where you are standing it looks like I read your message on Tuesday and could not be bothered until Friday. Several people have told me exactly that, and one of them was right to be annoyed.
Thirty four, the Valley, switch, five years in, one arrangement that ran three years and ended when her work moved her.
I am saying it here so it is on the record rather than being explained defensively later. I am not keeping anybody warm, I am not comparing offers, and I do not have a stack of people I am pleasantly stringing along. I have a slow system and a job that eats my evenings.
What I am looking for is one arrangement rather than several, in either direction, with structure and a weekly rhythm. I am equally happy leading and being led, and I have done both for years rather than dabbling.
Not looking for anybody who measures interest in response time, because you will read me wrong every week. Not looking for someone who needs to be the most recent thing in my phone. And not looking for a conversation that ends the first time I take three days, because that is going to happen in month one.