My blocked list is short and every entry taught me something
- Looking for
- somebody who will read a list of failures as a description of what I want
- Experience
- Seven years, two dynamics, one of them ended over exactly this.
- Around
- the South Bay, Los Angeles
Nine people. That is my whole blocked list after seven years, which by the standards of this place is a rounding error, and I keep it because between them those nine describe what I want better than any list of preferences could. The man who kept asking for one more photograph. The woman who agreed to my limits and then treated each one as a starting position. The person who wanted to know where I worked before he would say his first name.
Thirty nine, the South Bay, switch, seven years in, two arrangements and one of them ended over the second thing on that list.
None of them was dangerous and none of them is a horror story. They were all people who wanted a slightly different thing and would not say so, and by the time it was obvious I had already spent a month being agreeable about it.
What I want is either direction, done properly, with terms that are actually terms. If I say a limit I mean it on the first day and in the ninth month, and I will treat yours the same way. I am good at leading, better at it than I was, and I still want the other side of it regularly.
Not looking for anybody who negotiates by attrition. Not looking for someone who cannot say what they want without being asked repeatedly. And not looking to be a project for somebody's patience.