I have fourteen months here and I am saying so before anything starts
- Looking for
- somebody who wants something real that both of us know has an end date
- Experience
- Seven years, four dynamics, most of them in other cities.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
My work moves me every couple of years and I have fourteen months left on this one. I used to keep that quiet for the first month or two, on the reasonable grounds that it puts people off, and then I watched somebody find out in month four and be genuinely hurt by it. So it is in the first line now, where it belongs, and it costs me about half the people who would otherwise write.
Thirty seven, the Westside, switch, seven years in, four arrangements and all of them in cities I no longer live in.
What I have learned is that a fixed end is not the disaster it sounds like. Two of those four were the best relationships of my life precisely because neither of us wasted a fortnight being vague. You know the shape from the start, so you fill it properly.
I am looking for either direction, with real structure, a weekly rhythm and honest expectations. I am organised, I plan, and I am unusually good at goodbyes at this point.
Not looking for somebody who intends to change my mind about leaving. Not looking for anyone who says the timeline is fine and then quietly starts building around a different one. And not looking for something casual, which people always assume this means and it does not.