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The board · Los Angeles · Switch

I did fifteen years of this before any of it was on a phone

Posted as before_there_was_an_app, 23 August 2026

Looking for
somebody who learned this from people rather than from a tag list
Experience
Twenty two years, four dynamics, three of them measured in years.
Around
the east side, Los Angeles

The thing I miss is not romantic and it is not nostalgia for anything in particular. It is that people used to arrive already knowing how to behave, because they had learned it slowly from other people who were watching. Now I meet somebody who has read the same forty definitions I could read myself, has a beautifully specific list of interests, and has no idea at all how to negotiate a limit with a person in front of them.

Fifty six, the east side, switch, twenty two years in, four arrangements with three of them running for years.

I am not going to be rude about it, and I am aware that every generation of this says the same thing. But I want to be honest about what I am looking for, which is somebody who has done this with people and not only read about it. That may mean somebody nearer my own age. It may not.

Either direction suits me. I lead more often now, and I am formal about it, and I still want to be on the other side a few times a year with somebody who knows what they are doing.

Not looking to teach anybody the basics from nothing. Not looking for somebody whose experience is entirely typed. And not looking for a conversation about which of us has been doing this longer.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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