I will do the long drive once. Twice, it has to mean something
- Looking for
- somebody willing to say what the second meeting is before I set off
- Experience
- Five years, two dynamics, one long distance and exhausting.
- Around
- the South Bay, Los Angeles
An hour and ten minutes each way is what most of this board costs me, and I will pay it once for anybody who writes properly. Twice, I need a reason. Not a promise about the future, just a sentence about what the second meeting is for and whether either of us thinks this is going anywhere. That question has ended four conversations instantly and I now regard that as the feature rather than the fault.
Forty one, the South Bay, submissive, five years in. Two dynamics, one of them conducted at that same distance for eighteen months, which is how I learned all this.
I am not asking anybody to move or to commit to anything at the start. I am asking for the arithmetic to be shared rather than sitting entirely on my side of it. The long distance one failed because I did nine tenths of the travelling and neither of us noticed until I was resentful about it.
What I want is a proper structured dynamic. Weekly if the geography allows, fortnightly if it does not, with real contact and real expectations in between so it does not become a series of visits.
Not looking for anyone who will describe my drive as nothing. Not looking for anybody who is only free at the exact hour the freeway is worst. And not looking to be the reliable one for a second time.