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The board · London · Curious

I do not want a relationship and this confuses everyone I talk to

Posted as not_a_relationship, 5 September 2026

Looking for
an arrangement with structure and no romance attached to it
Experience
None. Six months on the app and a lot of confused conversations.
Around
north of the river, London

What I want is authority in my life and somebody paying close attention to whether I am doing what I said I would. What I do not want is a partner, a romance, or any of the surrounding apparatus. Every time I try to explain that, one of two things happens: either it is heard as a request for something casual, which it is not, or it is heard as damage, which I do not think it is.

Thirty seven, north of the river, and entirely new to this.

I have been single for six years by choice and I am content. The thing missing is not company. It is that nobody in my life holds me to anything, and I have understood for a long time that I function considerably better when somebody does.

So I am looking for something ongoing, serious and entirely unromantic, with clear expectations and regular contact, and I am aware that this is an unusual thing to be asking a dating application for.

Not looking for anything sexual, and I would rather say that plainly than have it discovered in week three. Not looking for a friendship that becomes something else. And not looking for anybody who thinks this is a phase I will grow out of once I meet the right person, which is what my sister thinks and she may be wrong.

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