My profile has not changed in four years and I have changed completely
- Looking for
- somebody who will read the post rather than the fossil
- Experience
- Nine years, three dynamics, and a self description that stopped being true.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
I wrote it in one evening four years ago and I have not touched it since. Everything in it was true then. Almost none of it is true now: I want different things, I have different limits, and the arrangement I was describing is one I would politely decline today. It has kept working as a profile, which is the strange part, and that is exactly why I never fixed it.
Thirty nine, Neukölln, submissive, nine years in, three arrangements with the longest at three years.
I am writing this post instead of rewriting the profile, because the profile format cannot hold the thing I actually want to say, which is that people change substantially and the app has no way to notice.
What I want now is narrower and quieter than what I wanted at thirty five. Authority over ordinary things. A weekly rhythm. Nothing performed. Considerably less intensity and considerably more consistency.
Not looking for anybody who found the old version appealing. Not looking to be reminded of what I used to say I wanted. And if you have written to me before and I was a different person about it, that is fair, and you can write again.