I send my written terms in the second message and it works
- Looking for
- somebody who will send theirs back rather than admire mine
- Experience
- Ten years, three dynamics, all of them documented from the start.
- Around
- Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin
Two pages. What I want, what I will not do, what I need in order to feel safe, how I want to be contacted, and what I expect if either of us wants to stop. I send it early, I ask for the equivalent back, and in this city almost nobody finds that strange. When I lived elsewhere it was treated as a red flag. Here it is treated as somebody who has done this before.
Forty four, Prenzlauer Berg, submissive, ten years in, three arrangements with the longest at five years.
It is not a contract and nothing in it is binding. It is a way of making the awkward conversation happen at a moment when neither of us is invested enough to fudge it.
What I want is a long structured arrangement with authority in it, a fixed weekly evening, and obligations that continue through the week.
Not looking for anybody who reads two pages and replies with a sentence. Not looking for a person who agrees to all of it without a single question, which has happened three times and none of those lasted. And not looking to be told that writing it down removes the spontaneity, because I have had ten years of it and spontaneity was never in short supply.