I have said no to eleven people this year and told each of them why
- Looking for
- somebody who understands that a plain no is a courtesy
- Experience
- Fifteen years, three dynamics, and a habit of ending things early.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
Eleven this year. Each of them got two or three sentences saying that I did not think it would work and roughly why, and not one of them has been unpleasant about it. Two thanked me at some length, which told me a good deal about what people are used to receiving here.
Fifty, Neukölln, dominant, fifteen years in, three arrangements with the longest at ten years.
I do it because a fast honest no is the single most useful thing anybody on this app can give anybody else, and because I spent my thirties being the person who let things fade and I did not like who that made me. It costs about four minutes and it means nobody is left constructing theories.
So you may well get one from me. It will not be a judgement on you and it will not be an invitation to discuss it.
What I run is a weekly structured arrangement: terms agreed at the start, obligations through the week, correction that is verbal, a proper review a few times a year.
Not looking for anybody who wants to argue with a decision. Not looking to be chased after a no. And if I do not answer at all, which happens occasionally, it means the message contained something I do not want to engage with, and that is also an answer.