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The board · Amsterdam · Dominant

The same profiles come back, and in a pool this size that is most of them

Posted as keeps_showing_declined, 7 September 2026

Looking for
somebody new, or somebody willing to tell me I read them wrongly
Experience
Nine years, two arrangements, one still running.
Around
the south, Amsterdam

The stack recycles. Everybody knows it recycles, but in a city this size the effect is different: within two months you are being shown people you have already considered and decided against, over and over, and the app presents them as though they were new. I have declined the same man four times. He has presumably declined me a similar number.

What that does to a board is make everyone slightly ashamed. You cannot browse anonymously in a village. So people become vague, they write bios that cannot offend anybody, and the whole queue converges on a tone of pleasant nothing.

Forty four, the south, dominant, nine years in. Two arrangements, one of which has run three years on one evening a week and suits us both exactly.

I have gone the other way. My profile says precisely what I want and precisely what I do not, which halves my matches and doubles the quality of the ones I get. What I am looking for is a second arrangement, with clear terms, a fixed evening, and reporting between.

Not looking for anybody who wants to be talked into it. Not looking for a person who is offended by a direct no. And if I skipped past you once and you think I got it wrong, say so, because I have been wrong at least twice.

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Answering this one means being screened and doing some screening. Two checks survive a confident opener, and one platform is where a real one has already left a trail.

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