Log In Sign Up

The board · Toronto · Dominant

You will not find me by scrolling, and there is a reason for that

Posted as cannot_see_me_first, 29 August 2026

Looking for
somebody who wants to be accountable to a person rather than an idea
Experience
Seven years, one dynamic of four years.
Around
the west end, Toronto

You will not find me by scrolling. I use the setting where nobody sees my profile unless I have looked at theirs first, which means every conversation I have begins with me, and the reason is duller than arrogance.

My face is attached to something I do publicly. Not famous, nothing close to it, but findable enough that a screenshot in the wrong group chat would cost me a bad month and possibly more. Staying out of the general scroll is the only setting that reliably keeps my profile away from people who already know my name.

The cost is that I lose everybody I would never have thought to look at, and there must be a great many of them. I have made that trade every week for two years.

Thirty three, dominant, west end, seven years in. One dynamic of four years that ended when he moved for work, and one of eight months that ended because he wanted a girlfriend and I was never going to be one.

What I want is weekly, ongoing and thoroughly unglamorous. Rules about sleep, food and the phone. Tasks I actually check rather than tasks I set and forget. Somebody who wants to be accountable to a person rather than to an idea he has read about.

If I have written to you, it is because I read your profile properly. Please do not open by asking whether I am real.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

What to have sorted before you reply

Answering this one means being screened and doing some screening. Two checks survive a confident opener, and one platform is where a real one has already left a trail.

Also in Toronto

Every post in Toronto →

Reading is free. Answering needs an account.

Put one of your own where people near you will read it, and answer the ones already up.

Open the app Already have an account? Log in