I will not run a dynamic that lives entirely in a chat window
- Looking for
- a week of messages, an hour in daylight, and then something built slowly
- Experience
- Nineteen years, two long dynamics, one of eleven years.
- Around
- the west end, Toronto
There is a version of this that lives entirely inside a chat window. Somebody instructed by message for months, nothing ever happening in a room, both people gradually building something that a meeting would ruin. I have tried it twice. Both times it became a hobby for the other person and a second job for me.
Fifty two, dominant, west end, nineteen years in. Two long dynamics, one of them eleven years, and a stretch afterwards when I did nothing at all for two years and was considerably better for the rest.
I am not against distance and I am not against writing, which as you can see I enjoy. What I am against is the arrangement that never converts, where the phone becomes the whole of it and neither person will say so.
My terms are plain. Talk here for a week or two. Meet for an hour, in daylight, somewhere with other people in it. If there is something, we build from there in person at whatever pace suits. If there is not, we say so and neither of us has lost a season of the year to it.
What I run is domestic and steady. Standing rules, a set evening, tasks that matter to somebody's real life rather than to a fantasy of it. Correction is conversation and consequence.
I will not be the person you talk to instead of doing something about your life.