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The board · Toronto · Curious

My first profile claimed three years I did not have

Posted as first_profile_a_lie, 13 September 2026

Looking for
to start slowly with somebody experienced who corrects rather than tolerates
Experience
Four months, honestly counted. Nothing before that.
Around
downtown, Toronto

My first profile claimed three years of experience. It was not true. I wrote it because everything I had read suggested that admitting you are new is a way of getting nothing, and I kept it up for about six weeks, until a woman asked me a completely ordinary question and I had no answer to give her.

Thirty one, downtown. I deleted that account and started again with an honest one, and this post is part of the same decision.

What happened next was interesting enough to be worth writing down. The honest profile got fewer messages, which I expected. It also got entirely different messages: longer, slower, from people who asked what I had read and what drew me rather than what I had done. Two of those conversations are still going.

So the advice I had absorbed from somewhere was simply wrong, at least here, and I would like somebody else to read that before they do what I did.

What I want is to begin something with somebody experienced, slowly, with a clear understanding that I will get things wrong and would much rather be corrected than tolerated. I am drawn to structure and routine far more than to anything dramatic. When I picture this, I am picturing a Wednesday.

Flatshare, cannot host, free most evenings, no work travel.

Please do not treat the lie as a character reference. Undoing it is most of what the last three months have been.

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If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

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