I learned it was over by seeing his profile back in my queue
- Looking for
- somebody who will end things in words rather than by reappearing
- Experience
- Seven years, two dynamics, one ended in the worst way available.
- Around
- the east, London
Two years, a serious arrangement, and the way I learned it was finished was that his profile came up in my queue on a Sunday morning with a new photograph and a rewritten paragraph. He had not said anything. He had simply reactivated and let the machine tell me, which I do not think was cruelty so much as cowardice with a very convenient tool available.
Thirty six, the east, switch, seven years in, two arrangements and one that ended on a Sunday morning without a word.
I am mostly past it now. What has stayed is a rule I did not have before: nothing ends here without a sentence, from either side, and I say so early enough that it is an agreement rather than a complaint. It costs nothing to keep and I have never regretted it.
What I want is either direction, structured, ongoing, with a weekly rhythm and expectations that are actually spoken. I have led more since, which I suspect is not a coincidence.
Not looking for anybody who is between two things. Not looking for a person who thinks going quiet is a kind of tact. And not looking to hear that he probably found it hard to say, because so did I, and I would have said it.