I moved to this city for a person who is no longer in it
- Looking for
- somebody who is not going to be my only reason to be somewhere
- Experience
- Six years, two dynamics, one of them the reason I live here.
- Around
- the west of the city, Berlin
I came here three years ago for somebody I had known for two years, most of it through an app very like this one. It was a serious decision made by two serious adults and it lasted eight months. She has since gone back, and I am still here, with a language I am halfway through, a job I like more than I expected, and no plans to leave.
Thirty five, the west of the city, switch, six years in.
I write it plainly because it is the first question anybody asks about how I ended up here, and because I have learned something from it that is worth putting in a post: I will not do that again. Not because it was a disaster, it was not, but because the arrangement and the entire structure of my life became the same object, and when one went the other went with it.
So what I want now is an arrangement, either direction, with real structure and a weekly rhythm, that sits inside a life rather than being the whole of it.
Not looking for anybody who wants to be everything. Not looking to be talked into moving anywhere. And not looking for somebody who will find the story romantic, because from the inside it was mostly boxes.