Everything I know about this happened in a chat window
- Looking for
- somebody willing to move it off the phone slowly and deliberately
- Experience
- Four years of it online with two people, and nothing in a room.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
Four years, two people, hundreds of hours, and I have never once been in a room with anybody while any of it was happening. One of those arrangements ran eighteen months and was the most serious thing in my life at the time. It was also entirely made of text. So when I say I am new I mean new in a very specific sense that I have given up trying to fit into a profile.
Thirty four, Neukölln, curious, and this is my first attempt at doing any of it off a screen.
What worries me is not the physical part. It is that everything I am good at is written. I am precise and fairly composed in a message, I have no idea what I am like when somebody is actually looking at me, and I suspect the answer is considerably worse.
So I would like to begin in the way I know and then move, on a timetable agreed in advance rather than whenever it happens to occur. Daylight, several times, before anything else.
Not looking for anybody who wants to keep it in writing indefinitely, since I have done four years of that and I know where it goes. Not looking for a person who finds the inexperience appealing in itself. And not looking to be reassured that it will be fine, because I would rather it were planned than promised.