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The board · Toronto · Switch

We moved forty minutes out and the queue was simply empty

Posted as empty_at_fifty, 22 July 2026

Looking for
one person, ongoing, either direction, on a fixed arrangement
Experience
Eleven years, four of them alongside a marriage everybody knew about.
Around
the 905, Toronto

We bought a house forty minutes out and I did not think about any of this once during the decision. Three weeks after moving I opened the app and the queue was empty. Not thin. Empty, even at fifty kilometres, which is a radius nobody in this city ever sets.

Forty four, and I would tell anybody considering the same move that the housing was the easy part.

Separated last year, so the we in that first paragraph is historical. I am still in the house because neither of us could buy the other out quickly. That is the situation, stated once, and I am not going to be dramatic about it.

Eleven years in this, four of them in a dynamic that ran alongside the marriage with everybody's knowledge, which worked far better than it sounds when written down.

What I want is a person, ongoing, either direction, though I lead more often than I follow. There is a spare room and no shared walls, and I am aware that in this particular pool that fact does more work than anything I could write about my character.

The honest part: getting anybody to come out here is the whole problem. I will drive in, twice a week if it is fixed rather than a series of maybes. What I will not do is drive in on a Friday at five for a coffee that gets cancelled at four.

Not interested in anybody whose interest is the spare room.

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Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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