The app never tells you who you have in common, and you always find out
- Looking for
- somebody at least one social step away from everybody I know
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic of a year, ended amicably.
- Around
- the northern quarter, Manchester
There is no mutual friends counter on this app and I have wished for one about forty times. What happens instead is that you spend three weeks getting to know somebody and then a name comes up in passing and you both go quiet, because you have just worked out that you have four people in common and at least one of them talks.
That has happened to me three times in four years. Once it was fine. Once we agreed to carry on and it was not fine, because the whole thing was conducted with one eye on who might hear. Once we stopped immediately and I still think that was right.
Thirty two, the northern quarter, submissive, four years in.
So I ask early now, which sounds paranoid and is actually just efficient. Where do you drink, who do you work with, what do you do at weekends. Not to place you socially in a creepy way. To find out in week one what I would otherwise find out in week five.
What I want is an ongoing arrangement, a fixed evening, standing rules, correction spoken at the time.
Not looking for anybody who enjoys the risk of being found out. Not looking to be a story. Not looking for a person who thinks this city is bigger than it is, because I have tested that theory three times and it lost every round.