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The board · London · Curious

Three people have read two messages and told me what I am

Posted as strangers_told_me, 26 July 2026

Looking for
somebody who asks rather than diagnoses
Experience
None. Five months here and three unsolicited verdicts.
Around
the west, London

Each of them was confident, each of them was different, and each of them arrived after roughly two messages from me. One told me I was obviously submissive and simply frightened of the word. One told me I was clearly the other thing and had been socialised out of it. The third told me I was not really interested in any of this and was looking for therapy, which was said kindly and made me put the phone down for a week.

Thirty one, the west, and new to all of it.

I do not think any of them was being malicious. I think this place rewards quick reading, and a person who has not decided is an uncomfortable object, so people resolve it on your behalf.

What I would like is somebody who asks questions instead. I have plenty of material to work with: things I have noticed about myself, things I have wanted for years without a name, a few things I am fairly sure I do not want.

Not looking for a verdict. Not looking to be corrected about my own experience. And not looking for anybody whose interest depends on me turning out to be a particular thing, because I might not, and I would rather find that out now.

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What to have sorted before you reply

If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

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