I stopped writing thoughtful first messages and my replies went up
- Looking for
- one person who would rather have the long version
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic of eight months, no complaints about it.
- Around
- the east, London
For two years I wrote proper opening messages. Read the whole profile, found the thing worth asking about, three or four sentences, never the same twice. My reply rate was about one in nine. In January, out of tiredness, I started sending two lines and a question, and my reply rate roughly doubled. I have thought about that a great deal and I do not like any of the conclusions.
Thirty one, the east, submissive, four years in, one arrangement of eight months that ended when he left the country.
I think what is actually happening is that a long message arrives as work. It has to be read, considered and answered properly, and the person receiving it has eleven other things in the same list. Two lines can be answered while walking. Nothing about that is a judgement on anybody, it is just what volume does.
So I send two lines now, and this post is where the long version lives, and if you want the long version it is yours immediately. What I am after is a structured ongoing dynamic with real expectations rather than an occasional evening. I am reliable, I take instruction well, and I am at my worst when left to organise myself.
Not looking for anybody who wants me to keep proving I am serious. Not looking for someone who answers in a fortnight. And not looking to be the interesting one in every exchange.