We wrote for eleven months before meeting and I would do it again
- Looking for
- somebody who does not treat a slow start as evidence of nothing
- Experience
- Thirteen years, three dynamics, the best of them very slow to start.
- Around
- the south east, London
Eleven months of writing before we were ever in a room. Not because either of us was frightened, and not because anybody was hiding anything. She was abroad for most of it and neither of us was willing to pretend the distance away. By the time we met we knew each other properly and the arrangement that followed ran four years, which is longer than anything that started with a coffee in week two.
Forty nine, the south east, switch, thirteen years in, three arrangements with that one the longest.
I am not recommending it as a method. This board is full of people quite rightly warning against long correspondences that never become anything, and most of them are right. The difference is that we both said, out loud and early, that we intended to meet as soon as it was possible, and then we did.
So the thing I look for is not speed. It is a stated intention, and then evidence over time that the intention is real.
What I want is either direction, ongoing, with structure and a weekly shape once the geography allows it. Not looking for anybody who needs a meeting inside a fortnight to take me seriously. Not looking for a correspondence with no intention behind it. And not looking to be hurried by somebody else's timetable.