The app offers three options for what I am and I am none of them
- Looking for
- somebody who reads the sentence rather than the field
- Experience
- Five years, two dynamics, both with people who simply asked.
- Around
- Neukölln, Berlin
The sign up asks a question about gender and offers three answers, and the third one is a category that means everybody else. So my profile has said the same thing for five years, which is a word I did not choose and would not use, and then a sentence underneath in my own words that a fair number of people do not reach.
Thirty three, Neukölln, non binary, switch, five years in, two arrangements.
I am not writing this as a complaint about the software, which will be updated eventually or will not. I am writing it because the field produces a specific kind of conversation, in which somebody has read a category and arrived with assumptions attached to it, and I spend the first exchange dismantling them rather than talking about anything I care about.
The people I have had arrangements with both did the same simple thing, which was to ask me a question instead of reading a box.
What I want is one arrangement, either direction, with structure: agreed terms, a weekly evening, obligations in between. Not looking for anybody who wants to discuss my gender at length. Not looking to be a first for anybody in that respect. And not looking for a person for whom this is the interesting part of my profile.